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MONTHLY GAME

 Well what do you know, just two months after our last visit we were back at the Randpark Bushwillow course.  After all the rain the course (greens and fairways) was in magnificent condition and our thanks are extended to the Randpark Committee and Members for accommodating us again at such short notice.

There were some very good scores with the Pick Three amazingly being won on 38/40/38 by 3 people, all I could get was one of those scores in my “eclectic”.

We had a number of interesting visitors on the day, namely: – Honorary Life Member Joss Hamilton who helped out with the starting as he is now a Gauteng member, Border’s 1986 Captain Jack Rosenberg and Ken Powell one time Transvaal/Gauteng Nomad on a business trip down from Zimbabwe.  It was good seeing all of you again.

Congratulations to Dean Hausberger who had his first Divisional win in 2½ years of membership and to Allen Needham who achieved the magical 40 points for his first Silver Tray in almost 10 years membership.

Thank you to Paul Adams, our own Gauteng member, for bringing us up to date on the Old Mutual Pairs competition, this is the 9th year of the competition.  It is such a pity that we can’t/didn’t play off of our Club handicaps, like some of the other Nomads Clubs do.  I know of one pairing who would have had an additional 10 points that would certainly have brought them close to the winner’s circle.  Congratulations to the three pairings who go through to the next round where you will play off of your Club handicaps.

Welcome to Dave Tunbridge who was inducted on the evening.  We hope you have a long and fruitful stay at Nomads, always remembering that the more you participate the more enjoyable it will be.

Grant Cochrane had a very long afternoon by collecting the Matchbox (it’s definitely not his first), The Worst Playing Pair and the Worst Playing Fourball but then he took home a lot more prizes than most of us did!

Thank you Larry B. for a most enjoyable fines session and your elimination fine, at the end, was clever, amusing and also very lucrative for the Club.

 

BIRTHDAY AND ANNIVERSARY WISHES

Bob Fussell      75      Rob Hoar      75       Kevin Vermeulen      60
Mark Pledger     40      Mark Rondi    40

CONGRATULATIONS TO

Jimmy & Sally Littlewood on the arrival of their great granddaughter on the day of the Randpark game.

 

CONDOLENCES TO

 Andrew Mentis and Roy Mentis on the tragic passing of their son and brother Brian.

Mike Hendricks on the passing of his wife Brenda after a long illness.

 

JUST ME

Tjol Lategan has been a Western Province Nomad for 21 years (Ag Shame!).  However he has been a practising attorney living in Johannesburg for the past 12 years, commuting between here and Cape Town for sufficient games per year.  He refused to transfer to us until we got rid of our red pants, now that we have made him happy he is going to ask his Club for a transfer.  I wonder if we should accept him, as he is still wearing a 15-year tie, I think he should get Western Province to give him a 20-year tie before he transfers!

We missed playing this month’s monthly game at The Wanderers (someone boobed!) so we will be playing the Highveld Trophy there on Wednesday the 6th August and we will be the hosts.  A Gauteng team will be selected to play against Northerns and Easterns so, for those of you who don’t go to Nationals, this is your opportunity to meet Nomads from our two sister Nomads Clubs.  That means get your name in as soon as you receive the Entry Form from Bev, as the total entries will be 120 players (40 from each Club will be playing in threeballs).

Good luck to all our Gauteng players at the forthcoming National Tournament inn Port Elizabeth, do your best and try and bring back the Bert Hunt Trophy.

Please contact Andrew Mostert (Mossie) if you want a ticket in the Lotto or if you would like to “join the gang” on the Mystery Tour, don’t just think about it do it NOW before you miss the boat.

Many thanks to all of you who helped out at Golforama at the Joburg Open, there were quite a few first timers and it was possibly the best Gauteng turnout that we have ever had.  However, we need your help again at the Telkom PGA, this is going to take place at CCJ from Thursday the 3rd to Sunday the 5th April 2014.  We don’t have any contact details yet but please diarise the dates and make yourselves available, even if it is just for one day.

A great number of you have “forgotten” to enter your scores, for your Nomads games, irrespective of whether it is good or bad.  The worst being one of you who has only entered 2 of his 11 Nomads scores for 2013 and quite correctly all of you are now going to have your handicaps adjusted, don’t say you weren’t warned.  In future if you play a game at Nomads and forget to swipe with Bev (not always possible) and you forget your score then give Bruce Richards a ring and he will give your gross score (I have done that on a number of occasions).  This is going to be monitored more strictly in future and the necessary penalties will be implemented almost immediately.

Welcome to Graham Swallow, who has been co-opted onto the Executive Committee, as our Club Liaison man and he will also take over most of the Archives at the end of our financial year.

 

COIN CHOKING INCIDENT

 A father walks into a restaurant with his young son.  He gives the boy three one Rand coins to play with to keep him occupied.

Suddenly the boy starts choking and going blue in the face.  The father realises the boy has swallowed the coins and starts slapping him on the back.  The boy coughs up two of the coins but keeps choking.  Looking at his son the father is panicking and shouting for help.

A well dressed, attractive and serious looking woman in a blue business suit is sitting at the coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee.  At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants, takes hold of the boy’s testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.  After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last coin, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.

Releasing the boy’s testicles, the woman hands the one Rand coin to the father and walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effect, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, “I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic.  Are you a doctor?”

“No,” the woman replied, “I’m with the South African Revenue Service”.